65

I have turned 65.

I remember my grandmother at 65. At 65, she was old. I am not old.

I can see her across from me in a chair, her breasts in her lap. She never wore a bra but rather a soft shirt under her slip so her breasts always sat near her waist. My breasts don't sit anywhere unless I cross my arms to make a shelf and push up. Occasionally I still look at large, perfectly shaped breasts with envy. Then I remember my grandmother. Her hairstyle never changed. It was long, thinning gray hair, wound up in the back into some kind of knot. I saw her hair down only one time and was amazed that it came to the middle of her back.

As a child, I sometimes spent time at my grandmother's house. Everyday except Sunday, she wore a cotton house dress, usually belted at the waist. House dress was an appropriate term  because that's where she spent her time, in the house.

When she was a younger woman, living on a dairy farm, she worked hard.  But later in her life, she hired a cleaning lady who came twice a month to do the heavy work. Grandma cooked, dusted and did the laundry but saved  the other chores for the cleaning lady. She figured that at her age she had earned that luxury.

My grandmother had simple needs For breakfast she had the usual, cereal or eggs. Nothing fancy. Plain white dishes. She made coffee, "strong enough to paint with," my dad said and that's the way he liked it. Sometimes she served rusks, a hard biscuit, with butter. The dishes were washed immediately after the meal and the chores of the day followed. For lunch, we usually had buttered bread with slices of some strong, aromatic cheese. Maybe a piece of fruit.

In the afternoon, she napped or watched T.V. About 3 p.m., we drank tea with milk and sugar. Store-bought cookies were usually put on a plate and set on the table. Grandma wasn't much of a baker.

Her house had a peculiar odor. It smelled like false teeth and Grandma absorbed that odor. Whenever she came near, she smelled like her house. Or maybe her house smelled like her.

While dinner was being prepared and eaten, the T.V. was forbidden but after the dishes were washed, dried and put away, the T.V. was allowed on again. Her favorite was wrestling. She loved Gorgeous George and would argue with anyone who suggested that the matches were rigged.

My life is different. I spend time outdoors - walking in the desert, hiking in the nearby mountains, skiing in the winter. I read several hours a day. I buy local produce and experiment with Indian and Thai recipes. My house smells like spices or incense. I have a partner but don't need to marry.

I admire my grandmother for many reasons but am glad I live at this time.

I am lucky. I am fortunate. I am contented. How many words can I think of that mean blessed?

They all apply.